So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
