I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
