i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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