these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
