i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
