I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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