I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
