he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
