It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
