so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
