Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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