She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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