He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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