and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
