take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
