Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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