is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
