the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
