every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize
