so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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