i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
