worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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