I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
