Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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