So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
