And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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