I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
