Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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