Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
