I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
