I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
