I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
