Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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