Quick, to the slutcave!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
