You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
