can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
