Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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