Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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