she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
