Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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