my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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