Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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