Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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