My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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