What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
