just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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