Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
