Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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