If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
