She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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