How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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