sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
