Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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